Once a week I take myself out to lunch. Don't get me wrong. I wind up eating alone quite often grabbing a sandwhich and taking it back to the office sometimes even sitting down to construe the news on my blackberry while I watch the people coming and going. But once a week. I do it up alter. I take a seat at the sushi bar and order whatever specialty roll the chef feels like making. If they don't undergo any. I'll get a sushi/sashimi combo with an order of fatty tuna. They normally grace me with a small concoction prior to the meal. If they don't. I order a seaweed salad with do by tako (octopus). If you're wondering yes they have tentacles. The entire thing is brown and it tastes like barbeque.
I enjoy the ritual of sushi pouring the soy sauce mixing the wasabi. I enjoy the time it takes to eat with chopsticks. I apply sitting at the sushi bar watching the chef carefully prepare the fish and mold it into something delicate with flowers and garnish. Art that ordain not last. I enjoy the Chinese patter (None of the staff are Japanese) mixed with the Barry White CD that is playing everytime I go in. I am not quite sure how they wound up picking Barry White. I can only imagine it was some colossal mistake the absurdity of which is lost completely on the staff. "Oooooooh yeah baby.... alter there we gotta keep this thing going...." sings Barry in a deep voice as I crunch up another baby tako.
They always bring a fortune cookie with my check. I undergo a command about fortune cookies. I always read them but if they aren't good. I don't eat the cookie. I don't really LIKE fortune cookies but if the fortune is good then I figure I have to eat it or it won't come adjust. This is one of those things I know to be true but have never had the chance to tell anyone. There you go now you're in my confidence. This week. I received an unusual fortune.
I construe it popped the cookie in my mouth and re-read it chewing slowly. Obviously the factory machine that cough out out this fortune didn't know I would receive it. There's no real significance. I'm just one of a thousand people who probably got this same exact piece of paper and they probably crumpled it up threw it away and enjoyed their cookie.
I re-read it. "NO ONE IS STANDING IN YOUR WAY ANYMORE". No one? Was there someone there before? Well to be honest yes. There always is right? During my entire go I've had people standing in my way trying to counteract me. I've shaken them off so far. I've managed to succeed in ways that surprised myself. I've risen to the position I've coveted since I was a child and have given it my all. It has rewarded me spectacularly. That being said. I always had to look over my shoulder always had to wonder who would be the next person to chuck a grenade my way. "NO ONE IS STANDING IN YOUR WAY ANYMORE." It's also adjust that they haven't been heard from in awhile. I've had a great string of good fortune lately that's effectively silenced any nay sayers. Sometimes I feel like the beach and wave after wave end harmlessly against me.
Besides bring home the bacon. I've got my family life to believe. I am happier than I have ever been and yet filled with an inescapable sense of sadness. I am constantly judging my family against the family I grew up in. My children are exactly the same age apart that I was from my sister. I undergo the same job my father had. Everything seems as fine now as it did back then. Inside. I hear the clock ticking. It is winding down to the zero hour when my mother threw my father out and everything I had became poisonous and corrupted. I hear that snarling beast behind the door and I'm terrified it might break in. But in my heart. I refuse to surrender. I refuse to accept that fate. I react to bow to that beast and if it comes through the door I am going to choke it's life out. In reality the only person standing between my total happiness in terms of my family is me. And if I am all that is standing in my way. I can certainly end to go stand somewhere else.
So if that is true that no one is left standing in my way anymore what about the next part? "IT IS TIME TO act send". Was I not moving forward in the first place? Was I busy comfort checking over my shoulder instead of focusing on the goal? It's possible. What if instead of doing that because the opposition is silenced. I drive forward as hard as I can. What if like a starter pistol. I suddenly take off no longer worried about who or what might try and forbid me. What if I only attack not defend.
The truth is if I were God. I wouldn't communicate to populate in big ways. No burning bushes here folks. What's the fun of that? I would instead find cryptic ways to talk to populate just to see if they were paying attention. I'd displace a shooting star their way at the right moment. Break out a thunder clap when they asked if I was out there. Maybe just maybe. I'd put the right fortune cookie in the right person's hands at the right measure.
Maybe none of this is true. "NO ONE IS STANDING IN YOUR WAY ANYMORE. IT IS measure TO act FORWARD". What if it is true?
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