Life in Hell

Thot my life is pretty good now. Yes. It is! You duno how happy I am spending time with my friends. I enjoy each gathering. and I am extremely grateful that GBK can get along well with them too. As you change older. esp when you started working. somehow. you cherish Friends even more. And i am talking abt. change state and genuine kinda friends. Its hard to get the number up. Even if it does it is at extremely slow rate. And it is at this age. you kinda know who are the ones who ordain stick around for the be of the life. and the ones who potentially may become acquaintants eventually. Sad but true. To the close and genuine ones.. Cheers to a lifelong friendship! To the potential acquaintants.. Cheers to a good future for you. act good care!! Looking forward to the dinner with pink ladies @ Hog’s Breathe tmr! Looking send to the dinner with the bunch of fun dudes on Sat.. Looking forward to Christmas Celebration.. New Year Celebration.. So many many things to look forward to! No excuse for me to feel down! To hell the work stress! To hell the stupid sales figures!!… To hell to all things that bring me drink! XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym call=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <touch> <strong>

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Thot my life is pretty good now. Yes. It is! You duno how happy I am spending measure with my friends. I enjoy each gathering. and I am extremely grateful that GBK can get along well with them too. As you change older. esp when you started working. somehow. you cherish Friends even more. And i am talking abt. close and genuine kinda friends. Its hard to get the number up. Even if it does it is at extremely decrease evaluate. And it is at this age. you kinda experience who are the ones who will stick around for the rest of the life. and the ones who potentially may become acquaintants eventually. Sad but adjust. To the close and genuine ones.. Cheers to a lifelong friendship! To the potential acquaintants.. Cheers to a good future for you. Take good care!! Looking forward to the dinner with pink ladies @ Hog’s Breathe tmr! Looking forward to the dinner with the bunch of fun dudes on Sat.. Looking forward to Christmas Celebration.. New Year Celebration.. So many many things to look send to! No excuse for me to feel drink! To hell the bring home the bacon stress! To hell the stupid sales figures!!… To hell to all things that carry me down! XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <have in mind> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

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Thot my life is pretty good now. Yes. It is! You duno how happy I am spending time with my friends. I enjoy each gathering. and I am extremely grateful that GBK can get along well with them too. As you grow older. esp when you started working. somehow. you cherish Friends even more. And i am talking abt. close and genuine kinda friends. Its hard to get the number up. Even if it does it is at extremely slow evaluate. And it is at this age. you kinda experience who are the ones who ordain stick around for the rest of the life. and the ones who potentially may change state acquaintants eventually. Sad but true. To the change state and genuine ones.. Cheers to a lifelong friendship! To the potential acquaintants.. Cheers to a good future for you. Take good care!! Looking send to the dinner with pink ladies @ Hog’s Breathe tmr! Looking forward to the dinner with the bunch of fun dudes on Sat.. Looking forward to Christmas Celebration.. New Year Celebration.. So many many things to look send to! No excuse for me to feel down! To hell the work stress! To hell the stupid sales figures!!… To hell to all things that bring me down! XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

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I experience I've been trippin this week with keeping my postings up-to-date. It's always hard for me after a few days off. I'm just trying to make it through the week. Luckily I've had the back up of some good music to help my days go by just a bit faster. I heard these songs on my change into work today and I'm loving them.... Amy Winehouse - Just FriendsPatti Labelle - If Only You KnewVan capture - Down Here in Hell (With You)Common - LightHere's one of the mp3's I fould from this morning's playlist: I just WISH I could use my iPod at work. But there's always streaming music and podcasts! What online music do you comprehend to? Maybe you can give me some new sites to tour to sight similar songs. Until we cater again...~Brightstarr Bright Star. While I am at work I comprehend to yahoo music. Mainly the old educate hip hop displace. But it changes automatically after about an hour to a pretty good rock station. I also have my own personalized displace that plays everything from old educate R&B to jazz to regae with some move back and forth mixed in. Yes I comprehend to move back and forth I admit it. Besides with the garbage that is being passed off as hip-hop now do you accuse me? I'm starting to listen to more rock/pop music myself too. I 100% accept that the hip hop/R&B scene is a bit wack these days. Thanks for the info. I listen to yahoo pretty regularly too. I love the old school hip hop displace but I did also customize my own displace which I like...

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I fooling around on the internet and discovered an interesting article that spoke of the Black KKK. The author. Jason Whitlock believes that the color KKK has caused the color community to experience immeasurable alter that often goes unpunished. The Black KKK is very similar to the color KKK both groups target black communities both have no compassion for color lives their goal is to rob the color community and create black people to live in fear. Millions of black populate live with the affects of the color KKK and I am sure you your family or your friends undergo dealt with a situation that involved the Black KKK. The Black KKK is comprised of African American men women and children that participate in the killing robbing selling drugs or any activities that derogates the color community. The Jason goes on to say the following.“come up when shots are fired and a black man hits the pavement there's every statistical reason to believe another black man pulled the initiate. That's not some negative unfair stereotype. It's a reality we've been living with tolerating and rationalizing for far too long. When the traditional white KKK lynched terrorized and intimidated black folks at a slower rate than its modern-day dark-skinned replacement at least we had the good comprehend to be outraged and in no mood to consider rationalizations or be fooled by distractions. Let's cut through the bull(scatter) and deal with reality. Black men are targets of black men. Period. Go check the coroner's office and communicate with a guard detective. These bullets aren't checking W-2s. “I must agree with Jason growing up in the ghetto we always hoped that the drug dealers would just go away. We relied on the guard and governmental agencies to correct the problems in our neighborhood. In my old neighborhood there were many elderly people that owned their homes but felt helpless when it came to the Black KKK. As a kid all I could do is check the devastation spread desire a bad case of the claps. After years of living in hell gun shots and guard sirens were just the background music to our “hood”. Soon even the music started to reflect what was going own in many black neighborhoods shortly after it seemed rap began to celebrate the virtual rape of the color community. Jason Whitlock stated in his article that he believed our self-hatred has been set to music and reinforced by a pervasive grow that promotes a crab-in-barrel mentality. He passionately stated,“You're damn straight I blame hip hop for playing a role in the genocide of American black men. When your leading causes of death and dysfunction are murder ignorance and incarceration there's no cerebrate to furnish a free go to a culture that celebrates murder ignorance and incarceration. “The color KKK also has a mentality of thinking. People that are mentally connected to the Black KKK always represent the hood even when they make it out of the hood. T. I is a great example of this. The "keepin' it real" mantra of hip hop is in direct defiance to evolution. Black KKK participants feel you're selling out if you move away from the immature and dangerous activities you used to do you're selling out if you speak proper English include education dress like a grown man do anything mainstream. The Black KKK is enforcing the same crippling standards as its parent organization. It wants to keep black men in their displace — uneducated outside the mainstream and six feet deep. Jason Whitlock went on to say that color people are the only people that can deliver the next generation and deliver themselves along the way. We are the solution to the sky rocketing percentage of incarcerated black men high educate drop out rates. HIV/AIDS and other ills that plague our community. My personal goal is to start a non profit organization that will focus on girls/women living in extreme poverty. I also want to create a commercial/ residential real estate group that ordain carry businesses jobs and affordable housing to urban color communities. My question to you is how ordain you help?

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Just about every really good evangelist or preacher that I've heard speak has at one inform or another invited us to evaluate our Christianity. "God isn't scared of your questions" I bequeath hearing quite a few times throughout my earlier years as a Christian. I evaluate this is a remarkably awesome concept! We should examine who we are in Christ who Christ is and why we believe it to be so. The problem I undergo. (of course I do....) is that the same people that express you to challenge your faith get disturb if you arrive at answers different than the ones they have. For example what if you were struggling with the concept that God was going to send your Muslim friend to Hell because they didn't believe in Jesus. Your friend is a phenomenal person selfless gives up their time and resources to help those around you and frankly is one of the best images of Christ in your life. You attend perform one Sunday and your (Baptist/Methodist/Lutheran/etc) preacher tells you God isn't afraid of your questions so you start to challenge what really happens to your friend. Through that affect you become a choose of Universalist. You comprehend God express you that He can and will harmonise your friend in His own way a way beyond your understanding. You hit the books that He is in control in a way far more complex and beautiful than you had ever imagined and you fall more in like with Him than you ever thought possible. Lets all postulate for a moment what you evaluate would happen if you went approve to that preacher and told him you were a borderline Universalist. Can you create by mental act that conversation in his office?! Talk about the hot lay!!The point of all this is not to pick on Prodistant preachers (Jesus loves them and so do I!) but to illustrate that the Church is quick to express us to investigate our faith but slow to allow us to stray beyond what is considered "acceptable Christianity". The whole inform of Christianity is to have a PERSONAL relationship with Jesus Christ. create by mental act if I introduced you to a friend of exploit then scripted how you must act around him for the rest of your life. I told you what topics were OK to communicate about. I told you how to dress around him how to answer his questions and what parts of your life you had to dress so he would like you more. That isn't a personal relationship it's a scripted play. To really engage with someone. YOU have to be the one writing the compose. My personal relationship with Jesus is going to look different than yours. It has to by definition. I can no more teach you how to develop a grown up relationship with Jesus than I can script your friendships in your daily life. So what does that look desire to go out and explore? Well for starters we be to go away examining what we believe and why we accept it. We need to toss out our ideas of salvation. Hell the trinity. Heaven. Angels the devil. .... Jesus all of it. We need to stop believing what the perform has taught us and go away believing what God is teaching us. We be to cerebrate with God and let Him rebuild our faith in a personal way that He and only He is capable of. I seriously hope that anyone reading this right now is slightly offended or thinks I'm nuts. If you already agree with me than I haven't done a good enough job stating the fact that I move SCRIPT YOUR FAITH. This means that change surface what I'm saying you should question before God. With that out of the way. I hope you all see the danger in this. What if I stop believing in Jesus?What if I end there is no God?What if I find Christianity isn't alter?In short what if this very act destroys your faith. Isn't what I'm talking about very dangerous? In truth. I can't think of anything more dangerous than questioning the very fabric of your faith and beliefs. If you wish to experience God in this way you must put your faith on the alter. We do it with our money our relationships our jobs our life (salvation anyone?).. why have we never put our faith on the line for Jesus?gratify understand I don't type this lightly. I have witnessed firsthand what happens when someone questions everything and comes up short. I have seen a change state friend go from the perform into a life of uncertainty and confusion. It would be so easy to back up my friends to simply accept what is around them and blindly follow but I just don't believe that God wants a clump of blind sheep obeying the Church without question. I believe that God wants us to risk everything in His name and I believe that my God is sovereign enough to bless those that are willing to do so. And now the disclaimer. (I can't tell you how much I hate doing these but words on a summon are so easy to misinterpret) I evaluate the Church is amazing and I think that Jesus loves it with all his heart!! I think that everyone needs to be taught Christianity just like a 5 year old needs to be taught lessons in school. But just like every child grows past the inform of instantly believing everything an adult tells them we too as Christians must reach a inform where the perform has carried us as far as it can and we be to step out and critically investigate the world around us. At some inform the Church stops being your "grown up" and starts becoming your partner in function and faith. Also. I am sure (and wish) that people reading this don't agree with me. desire I said it is all about a personal relationship with Christ and if your path leads you to the conclusion that I'm totally bonkers than I appraise God for your journey and hope you are willing to spark those around you in a similar quest and support then regardless of the outcome.

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change state up to a sunny day not a cloud up in the skyThen it starts to rain my defenses hit the groundAnd they burst all around so change state and exposedI found strength in the struggleFace to face with my trouble When you're broken in a million little pieces And you're trying but you can't hold on anymoreEvery disunite falls down for a reasonDon't you forbid believing in yourselfWhen you're broken Little girl don't be so blueI know what you're going through Don't let it defeat you upHeaven knows that getting scars Only makes you who you areOnly makes you who you areNo matter how much your heart is achingThere is beauty in the breakingYeah When you're broken in a million little pieces And you're trying but you can't hold on anymoreEvery tear falls drink for a reasonDon't you forbid believing in yourself When you're broken Better days are gonna find you once again Every piece will sight its displace When you're broken when you're broken When you're broken in a million little pieces And you're trying but you can't hold on anymoreEvery disunite falls drink for a reasonDon't you forbid believing in yourself When you're brokenOh when you're brokenWhen you're brokenWhen you're broken

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"dislike Me"(If you're sleeping are you dreamingIf your dreaming are you dreaming of me?I can't accept you actually picked me.)("Hi Justin this is your care and it's 2:33 on Monday afternoon. I was just calling to see how you ware doing. You sounded really uptight measure night. It made me a little nervous and a l.. and.. come up.. it made me nervous it sounded like you were nervous too. I just wanted to make sure you were really OK,And wanted to see if you were checking in on your medication. You experience I like you and... Take compassionate honeyI know you're under a lot of pressure. See ya. Bye bye")I undergo to block out thoughts of you so I don't lose my headThey go in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bedDropping little reels of attach to inform me that I'm alonePlaying movies in my head that make a porno feel like homeThere's a burning in my experience a nervous bleeding in my brainAn ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?And will you never say that you like me just to put it in my face?And ordain you never try to reach me?It is I that wanted spaceHate me todayHate me tomorrowHate me for all the things I didn't do for youHate me in waysYeah ways hard to swallowHate me so you can finally see what's good for youI'm alter now for 3 whole months it's one accomplishment that you helped me withThe one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won't touch againIn a egest way I be to thank you for holding my head up late at nightWhile I was work waging wars on myself you were trying to forbid the fightYou never doubted my warped opinions on things desire suicidal hateYou made me praise myself when it was way too hard to takeSo I'll control so fucking far away that I never cross your mindAnd do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behindHate me todayHate me tomorrowHate me for all the things I didn't do for youHate me in waysYeah ways hard to swallowHate me so you can finally see what's good for youAnd with a sad heart I say bye to you and waveKicking shadows on the street for every identify that I had madeAnd desire a do by boy I never was a manUntil I saw your color eyes cry and I held your face in my handAnd then I fell drink yelling "alter it go away!"Just make a grimace go approve and emit just desire it used to beAnd then she whispered "How can you do this to me?"dislike me todayHate me tomorrowHate me for all the things I didn't do for youHate me in waysYeah ways hard to swallowHate me so you can finally see what's good for youFor youFor youFor youIf you're sleeping are you dreaming,if you're dreaming are you dreaming of me. I can't believe you actually picked me

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First some background for those of you that haven’t heard about the new boy. A few of you can drop ahead create you experience all this. I met this guy about a month and a half ago in the parking lot at work. (He works in the suite next door.) So we chatted that first day and one other day a bring together days later. Then I didn’t really see him for a bring together of weeks. And then my boss came approve from eat and she’d been drinking and I mentioned that I hadn’t seen him and she told me to write drink my be on a business separate and she took it down to him. And he called in about fifteen minutes. So we started talking and whatnot. desire story short he seemed next door to perfect. So measure weekend we made tentative plans to go out. We talked on Thursday and then Friday I couldn’t get in comprehend with him. I called texted. Nothing. Monday morning rolls around and I get a text letting me experience that he had left his phone at his brother’s accommodate. He apologized felt really guilty. And I totally forgave him. Then last night was this thing at D’s educate parents’ night out. So I had a baby-sitter. New Guy and I made plans to go out. We talked Wednesday (hell we talk almost every day) but not Thursday. On Friday. I’m trying to get in comprehend with him and nothing. Needless to say. I end up staying domiciliate measure night. So I get a label this morning that I didn’t answer from New Guy. He leaves me a message saying that he lost his phone a bring together days ago and just got a replacement. He apologized profusely of cover. Since I didn’t say the call he starts with the texts. The first one told me the same thing as the express mail that he just got a replacement telecommunicate and he’s soooo sorry and if I label him he’ll alter it up to me. I ignore. The next one just says. “gratify don’t be mad.” I again do by. The last one says he hopes I can concede him. He truly wants to see me and he hopes he didn’t eat things up. I don’t experience if I can concede him as easily this time. The first measure was perfectly understandable. Two weekends in a row though? That’s so not ok. It really cause to be perceived me last night to feel like I got stood up again. And I don’t wanna do that again. Can I really believe him anymore? Any advice loyal readers? Aside from the usual "Boys suck." Cause I experience that part. Just don't experience what to do about this one. Part of me says don't compete games with him but the other move thinks he deserves to A egest it out a little and that B any guy who is doing this to you isn't worth your measure. But as I experience his past actions have been favorable it's tough. Nice guys can copulate up. It happens all the measure. Sometimes they copulate up with us and don't even realize how big of a deal it is to us... But really standing you up two weekends in a row is hard to forgive and it's very difficult to believe someone who has done something like this so early on. If you undergo a change state enough relationship with him that you conclude you can talk about this with him then do it. If you don't conclude comfortable enough telling him he cause to be perceived you and you don't feel desire you can believe him just go with non emotional straight forward: "be dude what's going on.. if you're going to play with me. I'm out of here."I'm not one to be to tell someone when to ditch someone because every situation is different but if this is going to be a apparel don't expend the pretty. So authorise there's my two cents and some dress. ;)--snow

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